Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
