but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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