Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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