I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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