Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
