Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
