he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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