I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
