you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
