Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I am one with the molecules
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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