Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Randomize
