Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
