ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
