You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
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