I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
