i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
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