Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
