She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
