Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
one two three fourrrrnication!
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
