Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Randomize
