i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
