do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
