He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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