ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
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