so that wasnt chicken after all
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
