So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize