It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
You did what with his pubic hair?
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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