So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
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You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Is it penis luge time yet?
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
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I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.