so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.