My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
