Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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