And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
