Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize