thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
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