Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Pants are for mortals
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
