Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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