i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize