I want to walk on stilts...naked
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
