Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
