hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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