I wannas sexs uuuuu
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
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