i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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