You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
