Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
