If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
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the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
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A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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