Cold hands, warm shart.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
