how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
