So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"