Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
As shirtless as possible
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Randomize
