absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Randomize
