I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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