You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
