The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
