Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
