we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
