i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
