Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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