I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
