1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
