No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Randomize
