the new term for farting is butt boxing.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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